"What does a "boss" really do? I mean really, my boss really doesn't do anything. He comes in late, goes to the hospital, hob-nobbing, and gives me all of his things to do...even his mail...so my new goal...should it be to become..........a boss?" A quote from my dear friend who is a Physician's Assistant. She has is a legitimate concern and she got me thinking. What does a boss really do?

Well...... from my experiences they:

• Come in late (some) and turn around and leave early. They even lie about staying late, "working all hours of the night" yeah right. Failed attempts to trick you into believing it, as they make sure they are still there when you leave but in reality are seconds behind you out the door.
• Ask you to do useless tasks unrelated to your career goals such as "preparing an overnight envelope for their personal use" or "going to the soda machine to get them a Pepsi".
• Speak aggressively in a meeting about what actions they are going to take with a project only to impress the VP. You are even impressed at how your boss is going to develop and launch that wonderful idea and then when you least expect it, their exciting idea and the work involved gets dumped on you with a very limiting deadline to deliver; All the while never letting you forget that this is a deliverable of theirs. "Then you should make sure it gets delivered!" is what I want to say!
• Bring in lunch for the department - we're not stupid, we know we are now on a "working lunch". We end up not getting a break at all, while they take 2 hour "business" lunches.
• Lastly, ride your back to meet goals that affect their bonus. Going as far as to make you stop meaningful work that affects your performance review, to have you work on labeling a drawer (something they could do themselves) so that they can pass the office audit and get upwards of tens of thousands of bonus dollars, while we suffer for low pay and get nothing but another paid for lunch that we end up working through.

So to answer April's question - "Should her new goal be to become a boss"?

I say noooooo, don't sell your soul to the devil, don't turn to the dark side, save your character and good will. We shall overcome!

"Siesta, Siesta"

My recent work week schedule includes, working late, staying up even later once I get home to complete my errands and chores, and rising early to start the cycle all over again. I began to think that all who experience the same pain of sleep deprivation and unsightly dark circles and bags beneath their eyes as I, should ban together and demand "Nap rooms" be built for employees to take mid day naps to catch their second wind thus being more productive and better decision makers.

Those in the medical field have the privilege to take naps when working their long, most of the time around the clock hours - understandable. It's only people's lives and health that they are responsible for - which is the reason they need sleep. Medical professionals need to make sure they are in their right minds when making life altering decisions. But what about those who work in a manufacturing environment, running gigantic machines, cutting materials, welding metals, and assembling parts - can you say "Worker's Comp". In my corporate career path, I had to make sure I wasn't hiring thieves to work in banks, allowing benefits to be offered to ineligible dependents or negotiating inconsistent pay rates and benefits that could drive the company into bankruptcy affecting the financial health of the company. No matter what job you have being sleepy ~ is being sleepy and being too sleepy is a risk to the company and those it serves.

The Blueprint:

I imagine rooms designed at job sites similar to smoking areas mixed with the private phone booths at the airport with choices of windows/no windows lite or darkened to your liking. If you are like me, you are concerned about the sanitary aspect of this "Nap Room" endeavor, but to participate in this benefit, employees would need to bring their own bedding, sheets and pillows. Disinfecting of the rooms will take place between use by a mechanism that sprays disinfectants from the ceilings and walls. A locker room will be available to store bedding to prevent the inconvenience of lugging items to and from work. There will be timers that serve as alarm clocks only allowing one to sleep 15 to 30 (maximum) minutes a day. Once time is up - a loud buzzer sounds and the room illuminates with bright lights indicating your siesta is over and its back to work. Thirty minutes a day is the maximum allowed. Each employee needs to have a card with a code in which their time spent in the "Nap Room" is documented. It can work similar to a debit card- where you only spend what is on the card. Employees must charge up their cards in order to use it. Restrictions include: charging will take place once a week and there is no rollover time allowed. You must use it or lose it. Lastly, this would require a "Nap Time Coordinator" position to be created and added to ensure no one abuses this benefit, and is present to trouble shoot any glitches, malfunctions and discrepancies.

Ahhh - I'm getting sleepy thinking about it. I think I am going to take a nap.

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Crazy in Work!

I often joke that working makes me "crazy" or "insane", but a recent USA Today article reports on particular jobs that actually are a threat to one's mental health. I would have to say that I am not surprised as there are many professions and fields of work that requires its incumbents to engage in one's personal dilemmas and situations, take responsibility for the health and well being of others and make crucial and critical decisions that affect a company's bottom line.

During my senior year of undergrad, the last requirement of the psychology program was to intern at a Mental Health clinic for a period of 6 weeks. It was in my fourth week that I realized that a career filled of patients with bipolar disorder, hallucinogen-induced disorders and depression would in turn cause me to develop an anxiety disorder. That experience led me to choose a career in Corporate America which ironically still resulted in the development of anxiety!

The article states "People who tend to the elderly, change diapers and serve up food and drinks have the highest rates of depression among U.S. workers." I was surprised by the latter professions - food and drink servers, as their jobs rely on them being very social, friendly and customer focused, but I suppose it could be a ficade. Having a depressing job not only affects the employee but the company as the article points out that "Depression leads to $30 billion to $44 billion in lost productivity annually."

Check out the article!

http://www.usatoday.com/money/workplace/2007-10-13-depressing-jobs_N.htm

Long time - No see.... No Talk.... No Write...., etc. I've been either voicing or hearing some rendition of that phrase since signing my name to the corporate dotted line - all while subjecting myself to the development of bags under my eyes, working through lunch or skipping it all together. This is what you get when you step into the real world and start on your many years towards seniority.

In the midst of our busy season at my job - as each industry has one ~ it's times like these I think back to my senior year in college when I was finished with my psychology major coursework and only taking electives, eagerly awaiting graduation, getting out of school and starting an adult life. My two best friends and I would sit up late at night ( as seniors we were smart enough to schedule late morning classes) in deep discussions about how "over" college we were, tired of stupid freshman and how much better life would be when we started our careers. We partied frequently, maintaining our academic scholarships all four years, shopped with our parent's money each weekend, and travelled during breaks - summer, Christmas, spring, Thanksgiving ~ there were so many.

Ironically all 3 of us - progressed on to achieve masters degrees in the 2 years following undergrad - while one is currently pursuing a doctorate degree, so much for entering the real world immediately. But, for 2 of us - 3 years after graduate school, 3 years of work experience under our belts when we finally get to talk once or twice a month (on the weekends of course) we like to reminisce about the best times of our lives - back in undergrad. We find it hilarious how naive we were. After 45 minutes to an hour of discussing what's new in our lives and all the details of our careers, the 2 of us who aren't in school find joy in ending our call with the PhD candidate saying- "stay in school, don't join the rat race!"

~ Week in Review ~

Does anybody really want to work?

Week of September 17th

I've been out of graduate school and working for about 3 years now.... and this week I seriously questioned, "Does anybody really want to work"?

Once I arrive to work on Monday mornings I either encounter or over hear greetings and responses from coworkers and other building dwellers:

"Good morning" with 2 possible responses 1) "its Monday!" or 2) "As good as it gets for a Monday" in a rather disgruntled, even irritated tone. What a way to start the work week. I mean, Mondays are rough for me too, but I try to fake it till I make it ~ through the day that is. With the 2 day weekends not being enough time to fully recuperate from the previous 5 day work week, it is understandable to be agitated at being back at work again. But I say - FAKE IT, people, don't bring everyone else down. Some people are actually trying to hype themselves up.

We then move on to Tuesday mornings; I'm in the the break room making my usual morning cup of oatmeal and in comes a fellow building mate, I say, "Good Morning" - they say - "Is today only Tuesday?" Did you honestly think it was Friday already you lazy bum - how much work did you get done yesterday that has you thinking its the end of the week already?

Wednesday becomes "Hump Day" because we are now getting over the hump and on a downward spiral towards the end of the week. I've noticed at this point employees are trying to put some pep in their step and get positive and motivated to make it to the finish line, we call "Friday".

Thursday takes people to the point of desperation, begging for the weekend. I hear numerous times a day, "I can't wait until Friday" and "I wish it were tomorrow already, like if its said enough we will time travel at warp speed into Friday at exactly 4:59pm.

If one just so happens to make it to Friday, everyone is thanking God and Goodness because they have survived the week. I hear cheerful voices greeting and shouting "Happy Friday" as I walk throughout the building.

Let us try to be a little more positive people. Apparently we have to work otherwise we wouldn't be subjecting ourselves to this torture every week.

.....Better Luck next week!

"The Code"

In most jobs there are dress codes--whether it is a uniform, business causal or formal business attire, it is understood that you are exchanging a paycheck with your freedom to dress as you please. Some company's employee handbooks will outline the do's and don'ts, while others just have a blanket statement of being dressed professional, clean, and neat. Whose idea of professional, clean and neat?

The interpretation for professional, clean and neat of course differs from person to person. The workplace already has its rules and regulations, on work ethics, internet use and the like, and now one's sense of style is being restricted! I guess this is what you have to put up with when you "stay in the loop" of Corporate America.

Look on the bright side Ladies and Gents. Check out the latest work foot wear for ladies and shirts and ties for the men--these trends are sure to keep you in line with your dress code and at the same time show off your sense of style........

Ladies, please don't kill your feet all week-- you can dance the night away in your stilettos on the weekends and be comfortable and cute during the week!

Wearing flats to the office could very well be the best possible fashion trend today; especially because designers have created very fashion forward and stylish flats that have cute decorative pieces in place of the infamous "penny" in the penny loafer. The color schemes and textures also provide that splash of pizazz, mojo or whatever you want to call it to set off your outfit.

On those days when I'm frustrated with my boss and wish I were at home watching "The People's Court" I simply look down at my cute and comfortable flats, and think of another outfit I could match them up with!

As for the guys, please don't get caught up in the "white shirts" club. You too can stick to the dress code and have your mojo too!

• Patterned shirts and tie


• If you absolutely have to wear a "white shirt" jazz it up with a cool tie!


• If no tie is required -- live it up!
  

I had to learn that there are ways to express my personal style and follow the rules, you can too, unless that is --you'd rather quit your job because you aren't able to wear pajama pants and flip flops.

Image source: http://www.macys.com/ , http://www.stevemadden.com/ and http://www.bachrach.com/

Caution - Office Safety Risks

I was thinking one day...When deciding on a career one may take into consideration the risks involved with performing a job. I always knew that I didn't want to have a job that involved manual labor, or any other type of work that would purposely put me in harms way. A corporate type, office job seemed like a safe environment, but beware of the dangers in the workplace. How can you hurt yourself sitting at your desk. Little did I know of the top 5 risks I face each day when I step foot into my office building.


5. Paper cuts - I currently have 5 paper cuts combined on both of my hands.

4. Slamming finger in file drawer - who is putting WD40 on these drawers, boy do they slam shut so fast.

3. Hanging file folders - Not only has these hanging file folders put holes in my clothes, and pulled threads out of my sweaters, I have actually had one of those prongs get caught in an existing papercut. Ouch!

2. Hand/Arm caught in vending machine trying to retrieve merchandise you bought that did not release properly. At 5 feet 5 inches and about 108 pounds (and gaining), it is quite impossible for me to rock the entire vending machine back and forth to get my Strawberry pop tart.

1. Bathroom doors - if you have ever been in a hurry - off to a meeting you forgot about, trying to hurry out to lunch or even that last bathroom break before you rush home - you may have been a victim of the being hit with a swinging bathroom door or better yet having a head on collision with a fellow colleague.

Be careful and extremely cautious at work, we are definitely not in the clear of injury.

~WEEK IN REVIEW~

Week of August 20th

Monday- 10:00AM, You sat in a meeting for approximately 1 hour and 15 minutes , and you are still trying to figure out what it was about.

Tuesday - 4:57PM - Your coworker pawns an employee call off on you, when she knows good and well that their question requires her expertise. She sees you packing up to go home!

Wednesday - 12:20PM, Lunch time rush - You stand in line for approximately 23 minutes at a local sandwich shop for a chicken salad sandwich. What a ding-dong, lunch is at 1:00PM from now on.

Thursday - 2:45PM, Your boss insist that you attend an out of office meeting at another location. You brave the mid-afternoon traffic, hassle with the toll bridge, and fear all the crazies who shouldn't have a license. Once you reach your destination 45 minutes later, you find that the meeting has been cancelled and no one thought to tell you!

Friday - 8:30AM, Trying to end your week on a positive note, you are at your desk typing an email when you hear a "pop". Your belt buckle completely snaps off the leather end as you are wearing pants that actually require a belt to keep them UP! You hurry off to the grocery store to find a cheap belt, needless to say its ugly!

...........Better luck next week

"Corporate Lingo"

After about 2 months of working in "Corporate America" I learned of this secret language. A language that I would eventually grow to mock. My good friend Olivia and I, have had countless conversations regarding the meanings of these phrases and the need to use them. Do these terms really get our points across in a more effective way? Are we trying to create an elite club where you can distinguish its members through these sayings? Can one be considered unprofessional, or lacking in intelligence, innovation and business savvy if these terms and phrases are not present in their vocabulary?



Top 10 Overly Communicated Corporate Terms, Phrases and Lingo

1. "Think outside the box" - Thinking creatively and not of the norm (lingo within lingo). Would it not be accepted to say, "try thinking of something that hasn't been thought of before" or "be a little more creative". What is the box, the box of business measurements the box of normalcy? Wouldn't it be great for everyone to think within their own box, their minds, and then exchange boxes, and then collaborate the boxes to create this great big box of creativity.

2. "Touch Base" - To follow up. Such an easy term to define, yet used way too much. No really, way too much!

3. "....Oriented" - According to Webster.com, oriented means intellectually, emotionally, or functionally directed. My gripe is that just adding "oriented" before or after something does not make it a power saying hence hearing this word in numerous variations many times a day. i.e. deadline-oriented.

4. "Drill down" - Digging/researching deeper into a problem or issue's core. I'm sure that one could say, "I am going to research further and get back to you" or a manager could ask their employee to "gather more information to get to the bottom of it".

5. "Show Stopper" - A highly important item that if not addressed will cause detrimental effects. I already have a short attention span, so sayings like this just take me away from the meeting at hand. It makes me think that the meeting I am in is really about something fun and interesting and then I snap back to reality and find myself in a boring meeting discussing budgets or something.

6. "Push Back" - To disagree with an idea. In different workplace settings I have had bosses who welcome push back or simply despise it. This takes us to my theory that these terms, thought to be universal can carry different meanings in different places and you never really know what your coworker or boss is talking about. Oh, or is that just me? Perhaps I am "pushing back" on all these terms because I don't know their true meanings.

7. "Buy In" - Gaining support perhaps from upper management and/or executives.

8. "Take this Offline" - Discuss a topic or issue at a later time, outside of the current meeting.

9. "Benchmark" - Making comparison or evaluation of best practices (lingo within lingo) within industry to aide in making informed and strategic decisions. And that is fine, it is actually needed in all business aspects to remain competitive in the company's respective industry. But another that I have witnessed be used numerous times a day.

10. "Stay in the loop" - Yet another form of "Touch Base". Staying informed of a variety of things including, physical whereabouts throughout the work day, progress on assignments, projects and tasks, all not to leave your boss, coworkers without a clue of what is going on in relevance to them. (wink, wink) Yes, it is the name of the blog, but believe me, this phrase is the only one that I admit has made a home in my vocabulary!

Lessons Learned - "The Devil's Advocate"

When it comes to giving advice, there are two types of people:

1. People who are afraid to make their own decision, so they ask for advice and actually take it.
2. People who ask for advice in hopes to validate the decision they already made.

Because its a 50-50 chance that you are going to do "what the hell you want to do" anyway, this column is my way of fulfilling my civic duty, like jury duty. My objective is to supply you information, possible options and alternatives to help you make an informed decision that works best for you.

DEAR Workerbee,

"I will be graduating with a Bachelor of Arts in Journalism next year and I really want to work as a writer for a magazine or newspaper. I don't have any experience in the field but I am willing to work hard and do whatever it takes. Since I have a year until graduation do you have any suggestions as to how I should prepare to job hunt once I graduate?"

~Girl who doesn't want to graduate without a job in my field.

Dear Girl who doesn't want to graduate......

I am glad that you are attempting to take a proactive approach to your career planning. First, I want to say that it is very common for recent graduates to take a job that is not in their field of study upon graduation. There is nothing wrong with doing so; gaining professional work experience allows you to gain exposure in different environments and become well rounded. With your lack of experience, I suggest, if you haven't done so already join a writing club, join the newspaper staff at your college or university and try to secure an internship. Gaining these types of experiences although unpaid will give you items to put on your resume as well as compile a writing portfolio of your writing to present at a job interview. Lastly, start researching potential employers that you may be interested in working for and going as far as reaching out to contacts at the company to inquire about paid internships and entry level positions. You know what they say....the early bird catches the worm!

Good Luck!

Got a question, let me know!