Bullies at work - really?

Wow, I just finished reading an article from last Sunday's Detroit Free Press newspaper about workplace bullying.  I was bullied in elementary school, for no other reason but for being smaller than others, or too quiet or just plain minding my own business.  But those days are long gone for me, but unfortunately not for others.  I couldn't imagine being bullied at work.  I mean come on, I am there to enrich my life, make a difference and make money! 

Ironically in the midst of the massive campaigns against child and teen bullying  and cyber-bullying and violence - the exact same behaviors are occurring in workplaces.  Who would have thought, working parents now have to deal with making sure their kids are not victims of bullying as well as themselves!

According to the article "Bullies at work all too common" a CareerBuilder survey revealed 27% of workers admit to being bullied at work.  This bully behavior included:

• Being harshly criticized
• Being yelled at in front of other colleagues
• Having belittling comments made towards them
• Stealing credit for their work

After reading the article, I thought maybe I did know that these types of things are happening - I can say I have seen this type of behavior happen to others.  I just didn't put it in the bullying category, instead I put it in the a-hole category.  I then wonder are these so called adult bullys, the result of grown up bullies, or the victims of childhood bullies trying to seek retribution for having been bullied?  Who knows.  It's wrong either way.  

If you feel that you are being bullied document all incidents in detail and if feel that you can address the person who is doing the bullying, do so they may not know they are bullying you.  On the other hand, if you can clearly identify that the the person who is bullying you, knows it, doesn't care and dares you to tell someone; Still document the incidents in detail and run not walk to your Human Resources department to seek resolution.

Here are a couple resources available concerning how to handle bullying (child and adult):

• www.stopbullying.gov
• www.bullybusters.org
• www.workplacebullying.org 

   

What's your name again?

Majority of us have them.  It could be based on our appearance, the shortened version of our name, or even our last name, the city or neighborhood we are from, something a boyfriend or girlfriend has given us, or something we were given from childhood or in our adult life.

YES - a nickname!   How prevalent are nicknames in the workplace I thought, I mean I use them for coworkers and other colleagues and they have been used in dun, dun, dun DUN, not the nicest fashion.  You could say that they are more-so created so that you talk in code about them.  I know its best to not talk about people, hence if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, but it happens sometimes. We all have coworkers who get on our nerves and having to work in such close quarters, nicknames allow you to speak of and vent about them when they are possibly near.

A couple that I utilized over my work history range from the person's last name or initials like "The NAG", or a physical descriptor like "Belly", "Shorty" or even "Red Face".  Now, of course, some may have some nicknames for me that are not that becoming, but I've never heard one yet.... I have been called "Precious" and I like that one!

If you would like to read more about "Nicknames in the Workplace" or if you want to confirm what nicknames you can use in the office or which ones to keep under wraps (inappropriate nicknames can spur lawsuits regarding discrimination!) give google a try.  I found that although I like my office nickname of "Precious" it is inappropriate and shouldn't be used.

Not so happy Monday

So today was the first day of work without my colleague, who resigned and her last day was Friday.  Although she left to go take on a great opportunity, I still wish she was right here beside me cracking jokes, lending me 25 cents for the vending machine and working with me to knock out implementation projects.  We were freakin' rock stars with our team work!

If you've ever made a good friend at work, you would know exactly how my day went - tremendously sad.  Last night I dreaded the fact that I would come into work and not find my BFF in the cubicle next to me.  No one to reciprocate my good morning, no one to recap the weekend, no one to mock our boss with (and this was the most important daily ritual we shared).   

I used to think that the friends I already had (a whopping) were all the friends I needed.  My best friend since 7th grade and then my college girls who double as my sorority sisters.  Yup, 3 that's it.  But boy, was I surprised when 2 years ago, I encountered a new good friend in of all places - WORK. 


Don't underestimate the genuine friendships and relationships that you can develop at work.  You are spending 40 plus hours a week with them, which is more than I am spending currently with my family who all live out of state along with my 3 besties! 

At the end of the day I spoke to my now former colleague, but even better my friend.  She had a great first day and since her new job is less than 3 miles away, I will still get to see her through the week.

Gracefully Unhelpful

When I sought out clarification on data provided to me in an excel spreadsheet at work today, I realized that sometimes you just aren't able to be helpful. 

This applies to any situation:  You may just not know the answer due to lack of knowledge on the subject, you may be familiar but it's not your expertise and you don't want to commit to an answer, or you may simply be new to a city, neighborhood, company and just clueless altogether.  No one can fault you for not knowing. 

BUT....there is a courteous way to be unhelpful.

Here are a couple of pointers:

1. Don't have an attitude and get irritated that someone had the audacity to ask you something you don't know.  They may not have known you didn't know.
2. If you have a suggestion on who might be able to help - share it. 
3. Don't tell a tall tale just to get the person off your back - it's OK if you don't know and you shouldn't send them down the wrong path trying to make yourself look good.