Get out of work free!

For those who have trouble committing to a 9 to 5, ideas of how to get out of work or cut the time you are actually there are always coming to mind. My friends and coworkers all agree that as much as we need our jobs to live, eat and survive there simply are days we just don’t want to go to work and would rather endure some pretty interesting situations than go to work!

Here are the Top 10 scenarios that my friends or myself have actually thought of and wished would happen to cause either our tardiness to work or to miss it altogether!

1. Hoping for a tornado or some natural disaster. Ok, maybe at least a warning!
2. Getting into a minor car accident - nothing serious people, just a little tap that would warrant stopping and getting out to talk to the other driver.
3. Fire in the bldg – of course no one gets hurt! Ok – maybe just someone burnt their pop tart in the toaster. Enough for the alarm to sound and an evacuation to occur.
4. Electricity out in your home, or in the company’s building - either one would work for me.
5. My cat gets sick on the carpet right as I was walking out the door – so, I have to clean it up which makes me a little tardy.
6. Pregnant coworker to go into labor right there at work – “breathe!”
7. Building is taken hostage by a disgruntled former employee with a fake weapon, of course – no one is trying to get hurt people!
8. Fire drill/tornado drill/earthquake drill, etc – any kind of drill - this will benefit everyone
9. Catch a cold from someone, grabbing babies who are sick all to get a quick virus, strong enough to keep you at home, weak enough for Airborne to kill in 2 days.
10. Simple sprang of the ankle not broke, sprang or fracture - something that would allow me to work an altered work schedule hobbling along on crutches for a couple of weeks!

Working to the top ~ Delinquent Notice #1

"I should be getting a raise soon!" ~ "I better get a bonus this quarter." ~ "Where is my promotion, I've been here 9 months!"

I spoke to a 21-year-old recent college graduate a couple months back and she indicated to me that she thought upon graduation that she would have gotten an On-Air Radio Personality job because she had gotten her degree in Broadcast journalism. I looked puzzled, wondering why did she think that she would have started immediately upon graduation at the top when her experience clearly rested at the bottom!

In today’s society is anyone really working their way to the top? Does "Generation X" (mid 20's-40's) and the newly titled "Millennials" (newest workers) know how to pay their dues? Or "are we even still in an era of owing them in the first place"?

With reality TV phenomenons like “The Apprentice”, "American Idol" and "America’s Next Top Model" in addition to "who you know and networking circles", hard work and experience are appearing obsolete. There has been a shift from working 60 hours a week and devoting 20 or more years to an employer to graduating college, wanting to be the boss and reaping all the perks that come along with it your first week out of school.

There was a time when interning for free (starting at the very bottom) was the all time success story of working your way up. Remember the inspiring story of young Sean “Puffy” Combs starting as an intern at Uptown Records who is now a “Music Mogul" and "Fashion Icon".

According to the article "Generational Teach Back: What Older Workers and Younger Workers Can Learn from Each Other" on Monster.com younger workers are functioning in the work world with the following ideals:

New Technology: I totally agree with this one, lots of young people are excited by new and futuristic trends - no one has patience anymore, including me. We just want things done, now!

Diversity: Born and raised in San Francisco and going away to college did expose me to different ways of life, theories and work ethic.

Job-Hopping: I know sooo many job hoppers! Younger workers do not share the value of company loyalty with older workers, jumping ship whenever a better opportunity presents itself. Instead of putting in the time, they just look elsewhere.

Risk Taking: Just call us rebels - me normally with a cause, occasionally without one! Younger workers take bigger risks, whether its quitting your job to start your own business - (then you will be the boss), or travelling the world and seeing where you land but always being optimistic. Whoo -today people are a little more gutsier and savvy.

Balancing Work/Life Issues: I love to travel and do things in my spare time. But how much time do we really get to devote to our own agendas. Can you believe the article called young workers "not career driven". Perhaps not - but more so "success-drive".

Fulfilling Dreams: I'm all for fulfilling my dreams! Younger workers want to fulfill their own dreams, and not necessarily those of the company! Often times they are only using the company to further their own objectives.

I still believe there will always be dues to be paid, but they may get cheaper!

Next time, we will examine those who made it to the top, yet know nothing! Be careful what you wish for...

There's cake in the breakroom!

Happy New Year Everyone!

Each year people make New Year's resolutions to get fit and eat healthier. While I'm not setting a resolution to work out more or stop eating red meat, I am going to make a conscience effort to stay away from "workplace birthday cake"!

One must learn that when you enter Corporate America your sweet tooth will be tempted almost everyday. Only the strongest will power will stop you from falling victim to the "newbie nine" (the number of pounds you will gain when you start your first corporate job), similar to the infamous "freshman fifteen" (number of pounds one might gain as a freshman in college).

It seems that there is always a birthday cake with lots of sugary frosting, to celebrate a colleague's birthday, double fudge brownies and macadamia nut chocolate chip cookies to bid one "Farewell or Bon Voyage" as they resign, a cupcake tower to congratulate a retirement, some creative apple fritter and/or caramel coconut bar made by that employee who just likes to bake and wants to show off their skills by bringing in their so-called "overflow" because they made too much, or lastly the decadent Harry and David chocolate truffles a vendor sent to say thanks for the business.

I have to admit - I've been caught up in this free for all munchfest: eating these goodies for breakfast and helping myself to another serving around 3:00pm to help me make it through the rest of the day.

So, instead of resolving that I join a gym that I will end up not going to and wasting my money or cutting out carbs (I love bread and potatoes too much) , I figure I should really resolve to not fall prey to the celebration peer pressures of the office and say "NO" to workplace birthday cake in 08!"

"What does a "boss" really do? I mean really, my boss really doesn't do anything. He comes in late, goes to the hospital, hob-nobbing, and gives me all of his things to do...even his mail...so my new goal...should it be to become..........a boss?" A quote from my dear friend who is a Physician's Assistant. She has is a legitimate concern and she got me thinking. What does a boss really do?

Well...... from my experiences they:

• Come in late (some) and turn around and leave early. They even lie about staying late, "working all hours of the night" yeah right. Failed attempts to trick you into believing it, as they make sure they are still there when you leave but in reality are seconds behind you out the door.
• Ask you to do useless tasks unrelated to your career goals such as "preparing an overnight envelope for their personal use" or "going to the soda machine to get them a Pepsi".
• Speak aggressively in a meeting about what actions they are going to take with a project only to impress the VP. You are even impressed at how your boss is going to develop and launch that wonderful idea and then when you least expect it, their exciting idea and the work involved gets dumped on you with a very limiting deadline to deliver; All the while never letting you forget that this is a deliverable of theirs. "Then you should make sure it gets delivered!" is what I want to say!
• Bring in lunch for the department - we're not stupid, we know we are now on a "working lunch". We end up not getting a break at all, while they take 2 hour "business" lunches.
• Lastly, ride your back to meet goals that affect their bonus. Going as far as to make you stop meaningful work that affects your performance review, to have you work on labeling a drawer (something they could do themselves) so that they can pass the office audit and get upwards of tens of thousands of bonus dollars, while we suffer for low pay and get nothing but another paid for lunch that we end up working through.

So to answer April's question - "Should her new goal be to become a boss"?

I say noooooo, don't sell your soul to the devil, don't turn to the dark side, save your character and good will. We shall overcome!

"Siesta, Siesta"

My recent work week schedule includes, working late, staying up even later once I get home to complete my errands and chores, and rising early to start the cycle all over again. I began to think that all who experience the same pain of sleep deprivation and unsightly dark circles and bags beneath their eyes as I, should ban together and demand "Nap rooms" be built for employees to take mid day naps to catch their second wind thus being more productive and better decision makers.

Those in the medical field have the privilege to take naps when working their long, most of the time around the clock hours - understandable. It's only people's lives and health that they are responsible for - which is the reason they need sleep. Medical professionals need to make sure they are in their right minds when making life altering decisions. But what about those who work in a manufacturing environment, running gigantic machines, cutting materials, welding metals, and assembling parts - can you say "Worker's Comp". In my corporate career path, I had to make sure I wasn't hiring thieves to work in banks, allowing benefits to be offered to ineligible dependents or negotiating inconsistent pay rates and benefits that could drive the company into bankruptcy affecting the financial health of the company. No matter what job you have being sleepy ~ is being sleepy and being too sleepy is a risk to the company and those it serves.

The Blueprint:

I imagine rooms designed at job sites similar to smoking areas mixed with the private phone booths at the airport with choices of windows/no windows lite or darkened to your liking. If you are like me, you are concerned about the sanitary aspect of this "Nap Room" endeavor, but to participate in this benefit, employees would need to bring their own bedding, sheets and pillows. Disinfecting of the rooms will take place between use by a mechanism that sprays disinfectants from the ceilings and walls. A locker room will be available to store bedding to prevent the inconvenience of lugging items to and from work. There will be timers that serve as alarm clocks only allowing one to sleep 15 to 30 (maximum) minutes a day. Once time is up - a loud buzzer sounds and the room illuminates with bright lights indicating your siesta is over and its back to work. Thirty minutes a day is the maximum allowed. Each employee needs to have a card with a code in which their time spent in the "Nap Room" is documented. It can work similar to a debit card- where you only spend what is on the card. Employees must charge up their cards in order to use it. Restrictions include: charging will take place once a week and there is no rollover time allowed. You must use it or lose it. Lastly, this would require a "Nap Time Coordinator" position to be created and added to ensure no one abuses this benefit, and is present to trouble shoot any glitches, malfunctions and discrepancies.

Ahhh - I'm getting sleepy thinking about it. I think I am going to take a nap.

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